I wasn’t sure whether to share this post before the end of the year or at the beginning of the new one. Then, I thought that in order to help starting off the 2022 with clear ideas, it would have been useful to try to answer a crucial question I’m often asked:
"… but, what the hell is this "coaching" everyone talks about ???".
When, at the beginning of my training as a coach, we were taught the importance of communicating clearly what "coaching" is, I thought: "well, how hard can it be to explain it clearly and to understand it".
Then, when I eventually started explaining it to people who had never heard about it before, I realised how hard it actually is …
Considering my double-role of architect and coach, the difference in the reactions to the two professions is extremely clear. When I introduce my profession of architect, everyone knows what I’m talking about, they ask pertinent questions, all is clear.
However, when I introduce myself as a coach …. wide open and confused eyes, ears opening up trying to figure out if possibly they’ve misunderstood and finally three questions : "sport-coach?", "but, why?" and finally "ok, but really…. what do you do?".
At first I tried using the answer I "pre-prepared" during my training, something along these lines:
"I support those people facing a transition in life to understand and accept their fears, embrace their reality and find the courage to take the first steps and start their journey towards their new life."
… bla, bla, bla …
The reaction was quite clear: I could read on people’s faces a big question mark and in their eyes total confusion and sudden loss of interest. Honestly, they were absolutely right.
I quickly realised that my description meant nothing to most people: far too abstract, conceptual, exclusive for those who are used to a self development discipline or have at least started being interested on it.
I’ve also realised that it wasn’t reflecting neither me, nor my style of coaching: much more practical, visual, actional … there must be some architect left in me at the end of the day ;)
So, I’ve been thinking at what would be an easier way to communicate what coaching is and why it is so relevant these days.
I was considering starting from a different point of view, when, during one of my coaching session with my lovely client C., I found the answer: she knew where she was today and she knew where she wanted to be in the future.
I asked her to draw the C. of the past on one side. Then, the C. of the future on the other.
Being able to see, somehow to touch the two C., has been her most powerful experience and allowed her to say goodbye to the past and put the effort and find the courage to jump into her future.
Coaching is the process which allows you to be aware of where you are, where you want to go, and that guides you in this transition.
Yesterday, while going through my preferred videos, I found this one (below) which I saved years ago and that, to me, gives a great and simple explication of what the process of coaching is.
With coaching, you will be accompanied in the visualisation and in the amazing exploration and discovery of those steps which allow the transition from the "current state" to the "desired state".
- It’s that simple ! -
Maybe it sounds difficult exactly because it is that simple, possibly too simple to be real.
However, the difficulty is not that much in the dynamic, but in the ENGAGEMENT, the TRUST and the TRANSPARENCY required in order to make it successful.
At the end of the day, you’re the one in charge: deciding the direction, the best options, the possible solutions. The coach will be next to you, accompanying and guiding in the reflections, not in the decisions, and supporting you along the way: that’s why openness and transparency are crucial in order for the coach to assist you in the best possible way.
Coaching styles:
I’ve mentioned drawing, but sometimes it’s just questions, other times other tools. It’s up to the coach that, depending on the client and the phase of the process, will adapt his/her style and techniques accordingly.
Types of coaching:
You will find endless lists with different types of coachings. It can be for sport, for business, and of course life coaching, which, to me, is inevitably hidden behind any type: how can you be an athlete if you don’t have a clear mind in general? You wouldn’t necessarily be able to concentrate on your training and competition.
How can you be a good leader, if you don’t have a calm mind yourself? Your stress will inevitably be perceived.
And so on …
What coaching is NOT:
Coaching is NOT therapy - There’s no deep analysis of the past nor medical treatment. Coaching projects in the future.
Coaching is NOT mentoring - There isn’t any transmission of experience. You’ll work on yourself.
Caching is NOT counselling - The coach will not give a solution, you’ll discover your own.
Coaching is NOT advising - The coach is not supposed to give you advices. You’ll find the answers yourself through the process.
Coaching is NOT teaching - There’s no sharing of knowledge and learning from others. You’ll learn from yourself.
It is a large subject, but I’ll stop here for now, hoping that the above explanation was sufficiently simple and bearable …
Should you be interested, few more information can be found here or on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) website and, of course, I’d be happy to exchange on the subject should you wish to get in touch.
I take this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas!
Take care and stay safe.
Giada
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